Health Marriage

Hi My Name is Erin And I Have A Problem

Mike recently staged an intervention after he discovered me cutting up antibiotics with a razor blade and snorting them off the toilet.  He informed me he would no longer write me prescriptions for z-packs until I saw a specialist about my chronic sinus issues.  “Michael, it is super inconvenient to have to…

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Life Motherhood Pets

Leave Me Alone

*I rarely drink.  *= I rarely drink except when I am trying to get pregnant (I legit prayed to God that my kids would not have big foreheads and even doubled up on my prenatal vitamins just in case) annnnd when my family has literally driven me to the brink…

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Family Life People Travel

Psychic Encounters

I recently went to Monterey for Mike’s family reunion.  We were at the aquarium when my sister-in-law decided her baby needed to take a nap.  I eagerly volunteered to help her back to the car because watching fish swim around has never been a passion of mine.  On my way…

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Family Life My Mom Pets

Extra Crazy Cat Lady

It has been two weeks since my mom’s cat, Mr. Whiskerpuss, passed away.  My mom was utterly devastated, sooooo I took it upon myself to find her another obscenely expensive, purebred kitten to fill the void.  Mike was adamant that I ask my stepfather, Bob, before I bought the cat…

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Beauty Life Marriage Travel

I Am a Dickhead

Two days before Mike and I left for California to celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary, I decided to have a microderm and a “gentle” chemical peel to make my face glow much as it did the day he married me (yes, I was totally pregnant).  The procedure smarted a bit,…

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Latest Marriage Travel

The Traveling Man

It is a fair assessment to say that Mike and I are obsessed with each other.  We are constantly kissing, groping and touching one another.  We make each other laugh and watch violent crime shows together.  Our relationship is seriously amazeballs.  I have even gone as far as getting a…

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Marriage Motherhood

Mom Of The Year Again

I was outside planting flowers when my daughters informed me they were having a lemonade stand at the end of our driveway.  Concerned that their projected profit margins were superficially deflated based on their chosen location, which lacked both visibility and traffic, I conceded to their pleas and allowed them…

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Latest Life Motherhood

Breast Day Ever

Last Friday was the annual Father/Daughter Dance at my kids’ school.  I was walking out the door after finishing my weekly obligatory “I have unresolved guilt from my childhood” volunteer duties, when I noticed the decorations for the dance and my head slowly tilted to the side.  W.T.F. I stared…

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