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Category: Pets

Life Marriage Pets

My Dog Has A Drinking Problem

I was sitting outside freezing my ass off in the middle of the night waiting for my puppy to whiz when I glanced up at the sky and thought about what a genius the person was that started “selling” stars.  Um…okay…let me see here, I am going to say I…

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Life Marriage Motherhood Pets

The Circle Of Life

Me: I am going to find new homes for Vinnie and Pearl.  I am the ONLY thirty-four year old woman I know that has pet lizards.  The kids have NOTHING to do with them since their tails unexpectedly fell off while they were holding them.  Thankyouverymuch for failing to inform…

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Family My Mom Pets

Pussy Whipped

During Easter brunch at my house this year, my mom told us she had to go to the emergency room when she was nineteen years old for severe stomach pain.  Apparently, a resident doctor came in to examine her and coldly informed her that she was in the final stages…

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Marriage Motherhood Pets

Mr. Whiskerpuss

It is Steve Jobs fault that I now own a cat.  Last week I went into my daughter’s room and made the astute observation that her pet lizard, Pearl, had died.  How did I know?  Its face was pressed awkwardly against the aquarium and when I tapped on the side…

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Life Marriage Motherhood Pets

I Steal Cable

You know how Mike has claimed that my Shih Tzu is the “stupidest dog on earth” well it turns out he was wrong, it is my Yorkie!!!  HAHAHAHA FACE MIKE.  Some dogs like antifreeze, my dogs like to play in the street and pretend they are deaf.  We are not…

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Family Life My Mom Pets

Big Pimpin’ Spendin’ Mike’s G’s

Last week my yorkie Layla, became ill after eating rabbit shit according to our vet.  This incidentally serves as a good reminder for all of us: Stop Doing That.  My precious baby required a variety of antibiotics, x-rays, blood work, an IV, hand fed meals, massages and a couple thousand…

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Life Marriage Motherhood Pets Uncategorized

I Love All My Peeps

I am ready to talk about it.  In accordance with the Kubler-Ross Model of the 5 Stages of Grief, I am currently residing in Stage 4, Depression.  On Tuesday, I went to pick my daughter up from pre-school.  Her class is currently torturing “raising” baby chicks.  My daughter informed me…

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