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Category: Marriage

Family Health Marriage Travel

The Happiest Place On Earth

Last weekend, God once again ordered me to complete a three day community service stint at Disneyland as my penance for lighting fires and drowning kittens in a previous life.  Apparently I was a real bitch before I reincarnated into Erin-1979.  Fortunately, I have really turned things around in this…

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Marriage Motherhood Pets

Mr. Whiskerpuss

It is Steve Jobs fault that I now own a cat.  Last week I went into my daughter’s room and made the astute observation that her pet lizard, Pearl, had died.  How did I know?  Its face was pressed awkwardly against the aquarium and when I tapped on the side…

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Life Marriage Motherhood

U Mad Bro?

I don’t want to make you feel even worse about yourself if you are a shitty parent, but I fucking kill it as a mom.  My daughters are cool chicks.  I would probably hang around them even if I wasn’t forced to, except that would be like totally creepy.  The…

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Children Family Marriage

Surprise!

I used to feel sorry for people with Celiac’s disease.  Not anymore.  I accidentally bought a bag of gluten-free ginger snaps and they are pretty much BOMB.  Mmmmmm…Mmmmmmm….Mmmmmmmmmm.  I am typing with one hand so I can keep eating.  Anyway, Mike got home from Dallas on Saturday.  While the girls…

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Children Family Life Marriage

Happy New Year

Last Monday was the Justin Bieber concert in Denver.  Holy.Pubescent.Pandemonium.  My daughters were absolutely beside themselves, I was laughing hysterically watching them while Mike stayed on the phone with the suicide hotline.  I have never been to a rave but I imagine this is what one would be like sans…

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Life Marriage Motherhood Pets

I Steal Cable

You know how Mike has claimed that my Shih Tzu is the “stupidest dog on earth” well it turns out he was wrong, it is my Yorkie!!!  HAHAHAHA FACE MIKE.  Some dogs like antifreeze, my dogs like to play in the street and pretend they are deaf.  We are not…

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Marriage

Conversations With Mike

Convo #1 Me:  I can only assume your silence pertaining to this matter is your angled attempt to see if I accidentally forgot about Christmas this year.  Shockingly, I didn’t.  I am going to need you to bring Big Baby up from the basement and then go hang up the…

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Friends Life Marriage

Date Your Mate

Mike and I have decided to start dating again.  Each other.  Chill, we ain’t that socially liberal, I just read that courting your spouse can make being married fun.  We have been golfing twice now and last weekend we went out to dinner and saw Dennis Miller perform.  As I…

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