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Beauty Latest Lisa and Erin

Superficial Vains

Erin: (Laying on Lisa’s table getting face lasered) “Ow. That fucking hurts. Are you about to start your period? Based on the joy you are eliciting from afflicting pain on my face, I can totally tell your progesterone levels are nonexistent.” Lisa: “You know what hurts? When I tell you…

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Beauty Latest Life

Lets Get to the Bottom of It

A few days ago, I posted a picture on Facebook of me completely crashed out, facedown on my couch. I can fall asleep anytime/anywhere, including, but not limited to: parking lots, carpool lanes, airplanes, dinner tables, plays, movies, heavy metal rock concerts, super expensive private helicopter rides over majestic waterfalls…

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Latest Life Pets

Coyotes In the Mist

Last week I got into a little spat with God. I was getting ready for bed and grabbed a yellow tank-top. God was like, “Are you sure you want to wear that? I can see your nipples.” And I was all, “God. Seriously? It’s 2017. Women can wear whatever we…

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Latest Life People

An Evening With Peyton Manning

A few months ago, Mike received an invitation from a fancy hotel inviting him to an exclusive dinner titled, “An Evening With Peyton Manning (google football player if you are like me).” Calm down, we aren’t that cool. Like we had to pay. It wasn’t a free dinner with Peyton…

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Latest Life

I Am Woman Hear Me Roar

Following last week’s blog, I received a variety of e-mails. My favorite was sent from a man in Texas. He said, “What is all this I am Woman Hear Me Roar bullshit? Bring back the funny! Lol!” Omg. Did we not read the same blog? I am fucking hilarious. Having…

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Latest Life Motherhood

Have A Ball

The first time I saw a human ball was when I was 10 years old. Calm down. I wasn’t molested. I was over at my grandma’s house playing outside when her husband walked out onto their patio, smoking a pipe and wearing a pair of nylon jogging shorts. He casually…

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Latest Life Marriage

Growing Pains

This year I became a commercial real estate investor. My husband’s dental practice expanded to the point where he was literally “out of room.” I suggested we purchase a “gently worn” RV and a generator so he could do fillings in a parking lot. He countered with it was time…

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Latest Life Marriage

Girl You Be Trippin

Sorry I haven’t written in awhile.  I tripped and fell over my elliptical while playing tag with my kid and blew out my knee.  I started physical therapy and am having surgery in a couple of weeks blah blah blah and now the better part of a year is being…

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