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Category: Family

Family God Life My Sister

Miss My Sis

It has been one week since my sister and niece moved to Ireland.  Even more upsetting?  They legalized weed in Colorado the day before she left.  It would have been so much more fun if she was here to join Grandma, mom and me.  However, the worst part of having…

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Depression Family Friends Marriage Motherhood

Everyone Loves Me

My children went back to school a few weeks ago.  I had been counting down the nanoseconds for this day since the end of June.  In fact, when I took them back-to-school shopping the week prior I actually said, “Stop licking each other” void of any emotion whatsoever.  We took…

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Family Life Marriage Motherhood My Mom

Fairy Hell

A few days ago I took my kids to the park and they discovered the remains of a raccoon that had obviously been shanked by some gang member coyotes. Kids:  MOM CAN WE TAKE SOME BONES HOME?! Me:  No. Kids:  (Hyperventilating)  PLEASE MOM PLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE?! Me:  Oh My God.  That is…

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Family Life Marriage Travel

Paging Dr. Whimmer

On our first wedding anniversary I poured my heart and soul (although hollowed, I still have one.  Bite me) into a card for Mike.  I then waited with eager anticipation as he handed me his card which read: “Erin- We have had our ups.  We have had our downs.  Happy…

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Family My Mom Pets

Pussy Whipped

During Easter brunch at my house this year, my mom told us she had to go to the emergency room when she was nineteen years old for severe stomach pain.  Apparently, a resident doctor came in to examine her and coldly informed her that she was in the final stages…

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Family Health Marriage Travel

The Happiest Place On Earth

Last weekend, God once again ordered me to complete a three day community service stint at Disneyland as my penance for lighting fires and drowning kittens in a previous life.  Apparently I was a real bitch before I reincarnated into Erin-1979.  Fortunately, I have really turned things around in this…

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Family Life My Mom

Family Jackpot

Eew, the grossest thing ever happened to me last week.  I ordered five hundred U.S. dollars worth of clothes from Lands’ End because I go back to work full time at the dental office come August and Mike thinks periwinkle cardigans and monogrammed coral polos will inspire the masses to…

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